“Cause every time I see your face
I break a little”
And every single night you stay
you take a little”
These lyrics are to the song, “Break a Little” by Kirstin Maldonado who is a member of Pentatonix. This song is from her debut solo EP.
In missy’s recent post Being Nothing, she talks about being broken into nothingness.
So I suppose that I don’t actually want to be nothing. I just want to be none of the conscious me and I want to become something that is the other me – the unknown, the undeveloped, the restricted, the reserved and the held-back. I want to let go completely and go even further than I have gone with that before.
I do realise what it will take of course. It will take for me to be completely broken. I don’t think that for me this will come through pain, or for that fact through pleasure, although we have come close. I believe that for me the answer will lie in humiliation. I think that to break me, Sir will have to reduce me to even less than he has before.
For nora however, in her post about resolving conflict, she carries forward her theme that what she wants from her Daddy is to be broken of her bad habits.
Prior to D/s, we typically did not handle conflict well. My approach to conflict was to just “solve” everything myself. If I couldn’t solve it, then I would blame my husband for whatever it was, because surely it was his fault (please sense my sarcasm here). My husband’s approach to conflict, and to my style in approaching conflict, was to avoid it. He used humor a lot to try to lighten the situation, which drove me nuts and produced even more conflict between us. There were periods in our marriage where we fought, and engaged in conflict, a lot and we were both very dissatisfied with the results.
I am happy to report that in five months we’ve had one fight. That fight was one of those stupid fights, over something inconsequential. I was so wound up and was refusing to submit to my husband in the moment. Believe me, my bottom paid the price the next day. But, if my husband needs to soundly spank me in order for me to behave like a rational adult, then so be it. It works for us and we are so much happier.
Breaking a mirror equals seven years of bad luck, breaking bone is painful, breaking up—as the song above says—takes a little bit every time. Breaking a promise or vow leads to disappointment and regret. But breaking is not all bad. After all, to get an omelette you have to whip up some broken eggs.
There are lots of broken people in the world: I doubt anyone is free of pain, I’m certainly not. Some people need discipline in order to thrive. For those in D/s relationships, spanking sits front and center as the means to break through old hurts, to change patterns and behaviors that are harmful to self and others and break down the barriers we learn to erect as broken children.
“Cause every time I see your face
I break a little”
And every single night you stay
you take a little”
To someone in a stable, loving, respectful D/s relationship, those lyrics are empowering, not fragile glass that shatters at a glance. For a submissive they mean that every time they see their Dom’s face, a little piece of self-hatred breaks away. Every single night the Dom stays focused and determined to rise above the past shame and pain of broken souls, a little bit more self-doubt is taken away.
For women like missy and nora, breaking a little more each day has lead them to peace and happiness and joy.
If you would like to read my spanking newsletters at my other blog, Byron Cane Spanking and Erotic Fiction, the June, 2017 newsletter #2 is now posted at this link.
Spank Me Hard! ... Please? 
Wow LS….I am blown away. First, I love this song and I love the unique take you have put on it in applying it to D/s relationships. Second….I feel incredibly flattered to be included in such a beautiful, eloquent, and educational piece about this lifestyle. I am in awe of you as a writer. I will read this again and again. Thank you for being you 🙂
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My pleasure nora. It’s interesting how you started this journey by stumbling across a DD site, and now your posts serve as inspiration to others. I enjoying writing fiction, but I also find blogs like yours to be sources of story ideas. Thank you for being so forthright in your desires to be spanked.
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Happy to please, LS! Thank you for the compliment…the idea that my blog might inspire others is far more than I could have ever hoped for. I was just looking for a safe place, free of judgment, where I could talk about our new lifestyle. I feel very grateful for my peers here on WordPress who share similar experiences and who make me feel like less of a wierdo for enjoying what I do. I love reading the blog posts of others, getting new ideas, and just hearing about all of the different things happening in the homes of others. This has been a fantastic experience!
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I think it’s weird not to enjoy spanking. 🙂
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LOL…agreed! 🙂
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Thank you very much for the link and for quoting a piece from my writing. Like Nora, I also am flattered. I love your post and the way you have looked at the different types of break. So much is in the perception I think and things that bring about change are rarely as they may first appear. 😊
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You are most welcome, missy. I am amazed at how generous you write and the care with which you treat others. There is such realism in your words that I can’t help being creatively moved. Keep being you.
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I agree entirely with what you have said here! I met my Dom while I was in a total low. I had horribly low feelings of self worth, I had settled in almost every aspect of my life, and it wasn’t going to get better anytime soon because it had taken such a mental toll I was no longer trying to fix it. He has challenged me, pushed me and motivated me. Since meeting him I have gone back to school, pursued a career I love, began to embrace my own personality and style, discovered parts of myself I LOVE and started to develop a self confidence I never had before. He took the time to help break down the negative parts of me that were holding me back, and release the true self that was hidden underneath.
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Hello Sub D! Welcome to my blog, and thank you for the comment and for the follow. You are so right in saying that D/s—done right—is a powerful tool with which to heal and grow both as an individual and submissive. It is not about taking control and molding, it is more about helping the sub find his or hers true self beneath all the scar tissue. I hope all my posts will resonate with you. Ask any questions you want or plunder the archives. 🙂
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Thanks for writing this, LS!
“For a submissive they mean that every time they see their Dom’s face, a little piece of self-hatred breaks away.”
– This really resonates with me. I feel like after 9 years of accumulating memories of my Daddy’s gaze, I am finally able to start loving myself. Also, I guess the discipline that follows acts /thoughts of self-loathing/injury helps too.
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Loving yourself is extremely difficult for far too many. Settling for like is okay in the short-term. Breaking is good when it involves smashing up the past and creating a better future.
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