If you did a word association with ‘spanking’, the likely top response would be ‘punishment’. Even within the D/s community, spanking is used frequently for discipline and correction, rather than fun. That being said, if you said ‘sex’, the word most commonly utilized is probably ‘fucking’. After all, it depends on your definition of what ‘it’ is.

We are a genitally obsessed society. Every focus of swiping right is to get a penis in a vagina, or two cocks hooking up, or two pussies or any other dizzying variety of possibilities. Breasts and buttocks are reduced to visual mounds of flesh, flashing interest and availability while ‘down below’ prep is in full swing.

Not for spankos though. We know that time spent caressing, fondling, pinching, squeezing and of course, smacking the rounded rump of our partner, gets the mind into an area fraught with arousal. I am sure some of you can masturbate to climax without engaging in internal fantasy, but it’s a lot better when you orgasm thinking about someone or something else.

I know from reading many of your blog posts, spanking is often used this way; as foreplay. Whether you liked to be spanked, or like to spank, sex is more than bumping genitals. Yes, that’s often the payoff, but the route to get there can take many different forms. Bending over a lover’s knee and being spanked moderately until red and glowing, is a great way to get pleasure out of spanking. It makes the ‘sex’ that follows, all that much better.