One of best ‘spoofs’ of ’80s music videos, was Addicted to Love, by Robert Palmer in 1985. In honor of this week’s Wicked Wednesday’s prompt of telephone, I thought I would write alternate lyrics — raunchy — lyrics about being addicted to tech. [Feel free to laugh at my attempts.]

Playing in bed, I’m all alone
Downstairs, you’re on the phone
Cock is hard, I wanna fuck
Too many blogs, I’m outta luck
Can’t turn off, can’t unwind
Going down, constant chimes
Just one more check, pretty please
I want your mouth, get on your knees,
Damn, you like to believe you’re in charge of your feed, bullshit
closer to the truth you’re making love to your phone
You think all my hard spanks are boring, you’re addicted to tech
Ignore the signs, they’re really clear
You’re texting me, but I’m right here
Your thumbs dance over the screen
Updates come in and it’s too late, wanted to ream
Your ass is safe
Coming for you I masturbate
Notice that you don’t care
When cum gets in your hair
Damn, you like to pretend you’re in charge of your feed, bullshit
Replaced by your phone I say enough is enough
Even your pussy is neglected, you’re addicted to tech