Kismet of Submission: Episode 24

The white backdrop provided by the venue, is now covered with posters of Sir’s book covers, tacked in place with red pushpins. Tamara’s eyes keep skittering to his penname in big, bold black letters. She’s so used to calling him Sir the name feels unnatural. She also realizes, with a jolt, she doesn’t know his real name, nor has she told him her surname. Uneasy feelings start their deadly slither from her psyche.

Matters don’t improve when the ballroom doors are thrust wide open and a rush of fans steam into the author’s area. There are about thirty booths of varying sophistication — Sir’s is on the lower end of the scale she notes with disapproval. He needs a woman’s touch. Her alarm at the thought is fleeting. The first breathless females toting adoration and not-so-hidden desires have arrived.

Tamara fades — by choice — while a steady stream of women pour out confessions and tears; laughing as Sir signs books, clothing and the occasional flesh while posing with a social smile for selfies. He’s jovial, sympathetic and the man of-a-thousand-faces. He’s also completely unrecognizable as the man she’s starting to get a serious case of the likes for. A familiar voice slices through Tamara’s mounting misery.

‘M_ A_?’

Even in her mind, Tamara censors his name.

‘I love your books! I had no idea who you were in my lecture yesterday.’

Sir leans over the table and gives Susan a quick hug.

‘Hi, Tamara! How are you, my dear?’ she says with a giddy distracted wave. Digging in her cloth shopping bag from a local supermarket, Susan pulls out a paperback copy of every book containing Sir’s work ever published. ‘I’m your biggest fan, M_. This is so exciting.’ Her animated features as she chats with other waiting fans are in stark contrast to Tamara, who appears about to throw up.

Are we the only ones who see Tamara’s distress? Her posture is slumped on the chair, her face is blank and she won’t make eye contact or acknowledge anybody. Her thoughts — her thoughts are—

‘Excuse me,’ she manages to say before clamping her mouth with her hand, making a beeline to the closest ladies restroom.

Seconds later, Susan, through a non-verbal request from Sir, briskly pursues Tamara. Sir resumes his meeting and greeting with an affable grin to the next supplicant.

Are you angry with Sir? For all the smooth talk about submission and guidance, he didn’t waste any time sucking up to his adoring public and ignoring Tamara. It would be nice to have his thoughts on this matter, but his attention appears to be solely focused on the hot young thing cooing her availability with a barely there crop top and low slung ripped jeans. Abandoning his table, we check on the drama unfolding in the bathroom.

‘Don’t you have suck up to him some more, Susan? Why not crawl under the table and give him a hummer as well, maybe he’ll autograph your ass while you’re going down.’ Tamara has vomited her breakfast and is lashing out at the nearest target.

Unfazed by her anger, Susan offers Tamara a wet paper towel and a sealed bottle of water with a dry chuckle. ‘No, thanks, I gave up sucking dicks after I got married — each time. Blowjobs are for dating.’

‘He’s such a—’

‘Man?’

Tamara shoots Susan a narrowed-eyed scowl that would warn most people to take a wide path around. She rips the top off the bottle with a savage twist, gargles and spits in the sink. ‘Yeah, just like a typical man, full of bluster and arrogance and nothing else.’

Susan leans against the wall next to the hand dryer as Tamara finishes washing the acid bile from her mouth. Her next statement is a calculated risk, but Susan is gambling that the anger stems from fear rather than hate. ‘Or, your nausea is the result of your non-existent self-confidence exacerbated by the constant parade of fawning girls who are all younger, prettier, with rocking bods and wet pussies, who would eagerly bend over for Sir if he would so much as crook a finger in their direction.’ She holds up a hand to forestall Tamara’s presumably blistering response. ‘Not to mention not a single one of them has ever had a day of hardship in their entire lives, and their empty little brains can’t handle anything more serious than the latest Instagram update. Of course Sir would prefer a meaningless fuck instead of a real relationship with a woman of nuance and substance such as your self. He’s just a man after all, nothing but a walking cock.’

Throughout the quiet but intense lecture, Tamara’s face is getting redder. Whether from anger, shame or holding her breath, when she finally lets go, it’s with an outburst of tears, not words. An instant later, she’s enfolded in Susan’s arms while she bitterly weeps.

Through her sobbing, Tamara wails, ‘I don’t know why he was ignoring me! I thought I meant something to him.’

‘He’s working.’

‘But I should come first.’ She doesn’t stamp her foot, but the sentiment is clear.

‘Aaaaaah,’ Susan’s voice is wise and filled with understanding.

‘What?’ Tamara’s questioning tone is demanding.

‘Here, clean your face and blow your nose.’

‘You’re not my mother,’ said with a pout.

‘No, I’m not.’ Susan very calmly turns Tamara back to the sinks. ‘If I were, your bratty bottom would be getting spanked right about now.’

‘You’re not my Dom either!’

‘No, but I am submissive.’

‘What the fuck is that supposed to mean!’

‘A submissive always puts their Dom’s needs first. I get punished by Mistress when I slip and selfishly put myself before her.’

‘That’s…’ Tamara sputters and searches for a word. ‘Mean.’

‘No,’ Susan gently corrects her. ‘That’s my deepest desire. By focusing all my thoughts and actions to Mistress’ comfort and well-being, my willing service frees her to guide me to my goals.’

Tamara mutters, ‘Sir said something similar.’ She finally makes eye contact in the mirror. ‘Susan? I still can’t figure out what it is I’m supposed to be doing in terms of submitting.’

To read all the Kismet of Submission episodes in order from the beginning, please go to this page for individual links. As an FYI, this series, Kismet of Submission, will conclude by the end of the year. I will be pulling the posts at that time, and then continuing to write a full-length novel starring Sir and Tamara for publication in either 2018 or 2019.

7 Comments

  1. “‘A submissive always puts their Dom’s needs first. I get punished by Mistress when I slip and selfishly put myself before her.’

    ‘That’s…’ Tamara sputters and searches for a word. ‘Mean.’

    ‘No,’ Susan gently corrects her. ‘That’s my deepest desire. By focusing all my thoughts and actions to Mistress’ comfort and well-being, my willing service frees her to guide me to my goals.’”

    – This really touched me heart, especially today. Thanks for sharing it, LS. This is my goal and Daddy’s too. But I can’t seem to achieve it by an act of the will/intellect. Seems like for me it’s a process of failing, enduring the consequences, reflecting on it and trying again. I’ll get there one day, Daddy will get me there; in this life or the next.

    Thanks again, LS.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This is a beautifully written episode. Thank you very much for writing it. 😊

    Like

  3. I completely agree with Marg. This is beautifully – and very believably – written. I very much like this extra depth to the psyche of Tamara. She is very relatable. As ever, I wonder where their story will lead.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you, Ina. The story is spinning up in different directions right now. I’m wondering as well where this will go.

      Liked by 1 person

      • I think there are many more twists and turns in store for Tamara and Sir before you get to a satisfactory conclusion. But you will. I know it.

        Liked by 1 person


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