It’s the bane of Masters everywhere: A thinking submissive. Not that most Masters want a robot, they don’t, but many subs struggle with letting go.
To be in a D/s et all relationship requires – demands – the submissive truly submit. To give her/his very responses to the Master in return for… everything.
Masters want – demand – submission not because they desire total control [some do of course] over every aspect of the submissive’s life, but in order to help guide growth.
Why do you want to be a submissive in the first place?
To Top from the Bottom? That’s not submission, that’s a power struggle. If you have to think about your actions vis-à-vis His/Her desires then you’ve lost the charm of real submission. Giving up control in return for support goes beyond the norm for many, but for a thinking sub, the very act of submission causes the very worst of behaviors. Until a sub can stop thinking and simply do what needs to be done, they will be very unhappy.
This all presupposes the Master is worthy of your submission. A subject for another post.