Before I get into the subject of a newsletter, I wanted to share a link to a post and my comment in response to Jen’s post about vulnerability, in which she talks about respect vs love.
This is my comment as written:
I find the link between work and home interesting, so I’m going to take a tangent here.
You might think, “how hard can it be to order your wife to lick the asshole of his girlfriend?” = Brown nosing. Been in plenty of workplaces where the common theme is “How did he/she get that position?” Well, it comes from being submissive to the boss(es) and licking and sucking up to get the job. It’s not a healthy situation for anyone, but a reality I have witnessed all too often. This leads to people in leadership positions that shouldn’t be there, and who use fear and intimidation to force false submission.“It ties into something I read somewhere that, if given a choice between respect or love, most men choose respect and most women choose love.” Respect is the most difficult thing to both give and earn, not only in a personal relationship, but in the workplace. The entire concept of employment by others is a type of D/s relationship. The boss gives the orders, and the employees are expected to obey. Without respect, those orders are often ignored, sabotaged or otherwise mangled so that the boss looks bad. It’s not surprising that Mike has become more dominant at work based on his home life.
The idea of love in the workplace should not be confused with romantic love: [See below] but with the concept of affection towards co-workers and even bosses. A platonic friendship must include love and respect to have any chance of being real.
Although there are many parallels between D/D and D/s at home, and the corporate management tree, the sexual aspect gets all tangled up with power and authority. It doesn’t take much thought to recall sexual scandals in the workplace, at church, in schools and in politics, to realize that respect and love can be quickly corrupted by stupidity and cruelty.
Which leads into the last observation: Vulnerability. In the workplace, the employee has no power, except to quit if the boss is an asshole. Unlike D/s however, it’s easier to find another job, than another Dom or life partner. People write all the time about abusive Doms, but rarely complain about abusive bosses. Why? Because employees are vulnerable. HR either doesn’t care, or does not have the power to enforce harassment laws. It’s safer to accept a paycheck, than hope for a favorable court judgement. For those not in a D/s relationship, the submissive may seem to be powerless, but anyone reading this blog, or many others, quickly realizes that it is not the case.
The transition from hard-shelled, numb employee, to open vulnerable submissive, is a junction fraught with danger. I feel many D/s relationships founder on this very shoal for the lack of love and respect for the process of communicating in an honest and vulnerable manner.
About a newsletter, I have noticed that authors offer newsletters on their websites. I only have the two Lust anthologies published at the moment, but have several novels and short stories either finished, or working. There would be several possible items to include in a newsletter:
1. WIP: Work in progress, not whipping you deviant perverts! Although, all of my WIP has spanking of some sort. The purpose of showcasing my WIP, would be to garner feedback and beta reads before submitting for either calls or publication.
2. General talk about spanking and D/s, in line with the discussion above. I don’t blog many essays here, because I normally utilize other bloggers’ posts to write comments. There is certainly a need for sane and safe discussion rather than more fiction.
3. Write book reviews about my personal favorites. I have calculated—conservatively—that I have read over 20,000 books and an equal number of magazines and newspapers in my life. I have many books, new and old, that I consider worth reading.
4. Write about my writing process. How do I create characters? Why do I choose the place and time? How often do I write? Why does all my fiction revolve around spanking? [If you have to ask…]
5. Go in depth into the Lust novellas. Talk about how the outline grew into 24,000 words, and how the beta editing process changed the stories.
6. Discuss how BDSM and spanking has crept into mainstream romance. Did you know that almost all best-selling romance is now sexually explicit, and at the very least, mentions spankings as a threat directed at the female lead? Is this the influence of the editors? The paddle wagging the bottom? Or are readers more interested in kink than ever before?
So, in a comment or email, would you be interested in a monthly newsletter from me? You’d not be wrong in thinking I could simply start another blog, but, in the past, I got carried away and had eight blogs at one time. Not to mention, having 30 days of posts pre-written. I’m envisioning a once-monthly newsletter that builds upon my writing here, by discussing items such as the above.
Spank Me Hard! ... Please? 
Firstly, I want to say how typically astute and sensitive your comment on Jen’s post is, and this is just what I have come to expect from any comment you make. Your forethought, understanding and common sense always make any advice you give, or opinions you have such valid, worthy ones for me.
For this very reason alone, I back you absolutely and wholeheartedly in your idea of launching a newsletter. The non-fiction aspect you have in mind makes it a powerful email to send out. And you are more than capable of entering into discussion on D/s topics, and on spanking in particular, which would add a dimension above and beyond many author newsletters (especially mine!).
As your friend, a co-author of the Lust anthologies and, categorically, your number one fan, then how could I resist a newsletter that allows you to discuss your fiction in more depth? What I am wondering is whether you wish to keep these newsletters subscriber-only, as mine is, due to the added fiction bonus that comes with it, or whether – and I think this will work well for you – that you want to allow anyone to be able to access the newsletter, beyond those who sign up. There is a function on MailChimp, for instance, which enables you to publish a newsletter beyond your email list. Likewise, it’s possible there may well be a way to do this on something like Instafreebie (but don’t take my word on that one – my knowledge of Instafreebie is still hazy at best). And, obviously, you can archive your newsletters on your blog.
Book reviews? Oh, yes please! I have real issues with the arbitrariness of placing stars on a review (we’ve all read the one-star reviews of a book, given because it arrived late, and lacks any discussion of the actual book itself. People who do this – or write reviews based on a book they never actually read – have no idea what damage they do to authors, and probably care little, too). Having said that, the star process is all part of the commercial aspect of writing and selling books. You know I don’t discuss a book on my website that I either dislike (can’t see the point – I want to offer choices, not moan!), and I don’t give arbitrary scores, just my view of work that I think someone else might like to try. All a long-winded way of saying think carefully how you want to handle your book reviews.
Lastly, on the topic of BDSM in the mainstream, I think that, on the back of the FSOG phenomenon (whether people like or loathe the books), editors have seen the commercial viability in the angst and the literary tensions that can be portrayed through BDSM. Readers want the character to go through hell. This is one way of doing it. I don’t believe that, in the mainstream, it’s yet fully understood that spanking can be delivered without threat. What I do believe is that, like it or not, FSOG has been hugely influential to the kink industry. It’s also thrown up a lot of questions about BDSM for those who had never encountered it, or experimented before, and are feeling their own way through it, in a way that is relevant to them. What I hope is that these people read beyond the kind of D/s portrayed here, and don’t make assumptions on such a lifestyle based on it. If it’s been a channel in to erotic literature for many, then that has to be a good thing, but pursuing erotic literature with an open mind and a willingness to learn is also key. What I also hope is that authors who are writing about D/s are doing so with heart and genuine thought about what it is they are trying to say, and not merely to supply fodder to a bandwagon.
Foootnote to this point on BDSM: yes, as you well know, I write about angst, often I think, almost at the exclusion of everything else. But it’s always genuine, and never driven by a thought to commercial viability. If I don’t believe in what I’m writing, then why would I ever expect anyone else to want to waste their time reading it? Authorial honesty, I hope, leads to a better, and more diverse, reader experience.
Rant/waffle/mini essay over. YES – newsletter, please!!! Do it!!!
Oh, yes, I may know that WIP isn’t anything to do with whipping, but I’m not convinced that makes me any the less a deviant pervert! 😉
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Your comment could be a newsletter in and of itself. No matter the format I choose to communicate, it’s never easy to get across my points. I don’t try to write what is popular, but what moves me personally. I think that’s why writing for submission calls is difficult for me. I want to make the reader have to work when my words are in front of them. Thanks for the support, Ina, it helps me move forward every day.
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It did become a bit of an essay, didn’t it?! 🙂
My advice to you is the same as it always is: write your story, your way, in your style. That’s where authenticity and honesty comes from. I never want you to try and alter your work to try and fit in with commercialism. Your writing is wonderful precisely because it’s your own individual take on the erotic world, and on much more besides.
You SHOULD make the reader work for their reward. That’s the job of any good author, and you are one, believe me. I’m a great believer in not spoon feeding or patronising the reader. It’s how you work. Don’t change that. There are intelligent people who read erotica, or stories with an erotic bent, and you cater for that intelligence. Don’t water it down.
Never, ever change what you do. Be true to yourself, and your words. I can’t say that often enough to you.
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Eight blogs?! Yikes! I couldn’t manage two. (Of course there are those who will tell you that one is beyond me, but pish and tush.) Sure, I would be interested in a monthly newsletter-
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Yes, eight, it got to be quite ridiculous after awhile. I will seriously think about the newsletter. It might be some months yet.
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