Spank Me Hard! … Please?

I wonder if you saw me
the ex
in the queue at school
salt-hazed vehicles
lumbering through the drop-off zone
waved forward by paddle wielding tyrants
or did you speed by
oblivious
perhaps texting

are you still married to your job instead of a spouse

clouds of polar bear killing exhaust
coat the sooty snow
except those under-powered electrics
slipping through the slush
tires spinning
spray thwacking brightly colored rubber boots
rendering tropical flashes against the salted ice
the parents — sorry — the mommies pretending not to notice the elementary children carbon-shaming them
my personal failure to be environmentally pious enough
was one — of many — reasons we split possessions
I admit for years I seethed

would you be horrified to learn my butt’s sore this morning

just the memory of the hard spanking I got
before I buckled in the sprogs
and started the meter
makes me grin at the teachers
with a maniacal expression
it wasn’t your fault
until I met someone who wouldn’t put up with my shit
I never knew how unhappy I was
at being in control
so you see
the person who needed forgiveness
was myself
not you
because without you
I wouldn’t be here
in my happy place
wiggling with desire
knowing the kids will be gone for the weekend
and I’ll be royally fucked
and whipped by Monday

don’t you wish you’d tied me up and taken out your frustrations on my body

so thank you
for letting me go
if I say I saw you today
it will be the cane
or the belt
hopefully both
over and over again