As a blogger, I write what I want. Fiction for the most part, some poetry and the odd essay tossed in. I never write about myself or past exploits and relationships. As a writer — for publication — I choose characters that challenge the reader and portray fantasies that seem slightly quirky. One of the unpleasant facts about erotica and BDSM, is that there is a level of censorship not given to “mainstream” fiction. It’s perfectly alright to maim, torture and murder; but, try a caning that bleeds or a flogging that bruises, and the algorithms that rule the world, bury your book at the bottom of a landfill.
One thing I do know though, is that D/s produces a rainbow of colors. Red, blue, yellow; the infinite palette of hue that is a natural, and desired, byproduct of consensual discipline. When was the last time you got spanked? Didn’t you — at the first opportunity — rush to the nearest mirror, twist your head and admire the splotchy pattern your Dom created on your butt? Wishing it was more colorful?
Did you say: “Oh my God! Look what my Dom did to me!” not with horror, but with a contented purr; proud that your Dom is so talented and knows a spanking without a bruise or two is a wasted effort? For many submissives, marks are something you wear with honor. They are visual proofs of your Dom’s devotion to your personal well-being. Why else would they take the time to stamp their dominance upon your body, if not for love?
For those not in D/s, it always comes as a shock to realize that some people crave the outward bonds that physical play often creates. To them, D/s is about degradation, anger, violence and people in need of rescue from an abusive situation. Marking someone is evil: it’s black and white.
For those of us chasing the rainbow though, the waiting — impatiently — for the colors to fade and heal; so that we can do it again, that’s the real challenge. Scars on the soul linger: bruises fade.
Spank Me Hard! ... Please? 
I always love the honesty in your posts, and this one is no exception.
There can be a raging battle within a submissive, the wish to submit in a lock hold with the scars on the soul. But I think, maybe, even the scars are beaten back and begin to fade under the care of the right Dom.
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It’s a very thin line, and I’d be the first to say that not all can walk it successfully. There is always a chance that submission will simply add scars rather than heal, but with devoted communication and feedback, the possibility is lessened. Not eliminated, no human enterprise is w/o risk, but honesty in D/s is essential. The right Dom can be hard to find, but worth the effort required to trust.
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Agreed.
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So true! I love my marks, the gift that keeps on giving
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Marks are on the surface. What doesn’t show is how profound the emotional aspect provides stability.
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You are so right, not everyone understands it and even if you try to explain, people still react that they don’t understand it. Sometimes I wonder why people don’t understand it, why they don’t get that we are all different and some of us need to let go of control and need to see the other’s mark on us. I have only one ‘vanilla’ friend who really gets it. Others I have either not told or they just don’t understand.
Rebel xox
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It’s a ‘red line’ for many. Not understanding often means not taking the time to realize the truth. There are many reasons why being marked is so important in D/s. Painful pasts are often the initial catalyst, but it goes way beyond that. Either you like being marked by your Dom, or you’re not interested in D/s. It’s part of the package deal.
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Also spanking doesn’t always require D/s. Sometimes we just want a spanking – no submission on either part. And we still want a red bum with a few lasting reminders.
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Excellent point, Rudi. Spanking is for all social occasions. Sometimes it’s what takes the edge off.
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I have given up trying to explain it in the other world. Fine on here where it can be understood but otherwise, somehow, the words are never enough to erase the negative image that pops up in people’s heads. I love having marks but with or without them, it is the act itself which draws us closer. Thought provoking as always 🙂
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It’s too bad there is so much of a stigma to consensual D/s. It has so much positive energy when done correctly for the people involved. What most people can’t understand, is that it is so much more than ‘hitting’ someone. It’s a lifestyle that yields happiness.
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I agree. But I guess like everything in life, if you are closed to it then you will never know what it might bring you.
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Oh and I loved the ‘chasing the rainbow.’
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Has such a nice connotation when linked to D/s.
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Indeed. Perhaps I will use that when asked by colleagues about my plans for the weekend. Just chasing the rainbow again! 😉
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LOL! They’ll probably think it’s code for drugs and be relieved to find out it’s only getting a hard spanking while plugged. 😉
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A real euphemism to make the imagination fly!
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