The Wedding of the Century: Virtually

“The Four Horsemen Give Up And Retire” blared a satirical editorial supporting their decision and mocking the thundering sermons and condemnation from those warning the ‘End is Nigh’. Other platforms, especially those who existed only online, put up a spirited defense with phrases like: “Forget Mars! Webnauts are the future of humankind”. That was another debate that raged in forums and vlogs: What to call them? Besides webnauts; other popular names included netdivers, interspacers and haboob. The later an acronym taken from the Arabic name for a dust storm.

Not since the election had the web been so consumed with shouting an opinion, which was ironic [irony having passed away with the inexorable rise of social media] considering that the individuals who were being called—Human.Avatars.Blogging.Openly.Online.Bodiless—were in fact completely unknown. Some claimed they were constructs of the Deep State created as Artificial Intelligence to wrest the internet from the fingertips of the free citizens of the world. Still others pointed the blame at tech companies, or aliens, or any number of hostile governments depending on who was actually writing the post. In private chat rooms, science fiction writers smugly congratulated themselves on their perspicacity and simultaneously bemoaned the lack of comprehension by policymakers and brainstormed ways to cash in on the frenzy.

They2.0, which is how ‘they’ always referred to each other, claimed to be post-racial, post-gender and post-dirt humans. Despite the best attempts of hackers, both freelance and government sponsored, no one found any evidence to contradict ‘their’ claim ‘they’d’ uploaded ‘their’ sentience into the Cloud and then had ‘their’ bodies destroyed. And thus, on October 29th, in front of a worldwide audience watching live-streamed video on multiple platforms, two hologram avatars exchanged vows and were duly married by a flesh-and-blood minister. After the ceremony, ‘they’ invited selected journalists back to ‘their’ VR home via interactive headsets.

As one prominent reporter later said off-the-record, “It was the craziest fucking thing I’ve ever seen, but damn if it didn’t make me jealous to see the world ‘they’d’ created. ‘They’ll’ always be remembered for being the first to go, but I doubt ‘they’ll’ be alone for long.”

Wicked Wednesday... a place to be wickedly sexy or sexily wicked

Black Holes Tango

out past the halo
where the comets
do roam
out past the halo
where the cold
froze your bones
radiation will fry you
when the light
fades away
so come through the door
take your helmet
off here

so raise your glass high boys
for black holes
and beer
raise your glass high
for a ship
called desire
drink down that liquor
before you return
to that ship
called desire
and the black holes
of home

out past the belt
where the rocks
do tumble
out past the belt
where the ice
breaks in shards
gravity will grab you
when the asteroids
spin by
so come through the door
take your helmet
off here

so raise your glass high boys
for black holes
and beer
raise your glass high
for a ship
called desire
drink down that liquor
before you return
to that ship
called desire
and the black holes
of home

Lolo Black raised her tankard high, enthusiastically belting out the lyrics to Black Holes and a Ship called Desire—the unofficial anthem of the space station Delphi Blue. The stark filtered light from the gas giant Atlas cut a wide beam through O’Mara’s Pub. She took a long pull of the spicy ale. Alcohol was the third most important thing she missed while on a run to the asteroid belt.

Her cargo of ores sold and off-loaded, she’d docked several hours ago after six months mining in the absolute desolation of space. A room, a shower, clean jumpersuit; the first need taken care of, she was hunting for the second of her priorities. After wearing her fingers out watching porn holos, her body craved real skin wrapped around deep inside. Lolo had five weeks to kill: mandatory rest for licensed pilots, enforced through regular medical exams and strict exercise programs.

“How’s my favorite intersex employee doing?”
“I’m not your employee,” she replied with rote indifference to the ritual pitch.
Sven, all seven feet of ebony muscle, straddled the other chair at her small table. “Just say the word, babe, and I’ll sign you up with a brand new Mark Twelve freighter and even take your tub in trade.”
The Satin Rose is not for sale, Sven. All I want from you is a good hard fucking.”
“You know I never mix business with pleasure,” he regretfully said.
“I don’t regret turning you down… again. I’ll never work for that asshole Atlas. It’s bad enough he named the planet after himself, but his wife Delphi swans around as if she’s Queen and we’re peasants.”

Whatever Sven would have said in response was lost in the low rumble of hackles raised by the rough spacers guarding their turf.
Lolo didn’t snarl, only because she was too shocked by the temerity of the intruder. “What the fuck is a Sector 8 cop doing in O’Mara’s?”
Sven swiveled giving an amused snort. “That’s Crandall Memphis, Atlas’ nephew and troubleshooter: Emphasis on shooter. He’s here with a squad of Greenies hunting pirates jacking comets.”
She finished off her ale with a gulp, the dregs burning her tongue. “I was going to hook up with Crazy Pete, but I do like the cut of Crandall’s… epaulets.”
“Lolo…” Sven growled. “Don’t fuck with Atlas. I like you. You’re the best miner in this parsec, but there are limits to even my protection.”
She leaned across and kissed his forehead. “Thanks for the warning, grandpa, but I can handle my liquor and my sex partners.”

“There you are, Crandall,” Lolo cut through the tension like an arclaze, deftly slipping her arm around the cop’s waist and squeezing with warning. The other miners reluctantly eased back a fraction. She bent her head down and playfully nipped his left ear while hissing softly beneath the implied threats. “I’m sure your body armor can repel a needler, but a shiv to the throat will kill you just the same.
“I’m missed you so much! I can’t believe you came all this way for me!” Lolo kissed him with apparent enthusiasm, swiftly extracting him from danger.

Once safely into the crowd on Concourse J, she blasted him for his stupidity. “What the fuck were you doing, going solo into that place? Didn’t they teach you anything in cop school?”
“I had the situation under control, miss…”
“Name’s Lolo. Lolo Black. And pardon my attitude, but you’re full of shit. Those boys and girls back there would have had you out an airlock before your uncle could sneeze a credit. There are places on this station police don’t go, unless it’s been exposed to hard vacuum for a cycle first; and even then, they go in powered.”

Crandall stumbled as the directional station jets made a minute adjustment.
“Great,” Lolo snarled. “Dirtside cop no less. Let me guess. First time away from mommy’s tit.”
He snarled back. “Watch your mouth, Lolo, or I’ll toss you in the brig with the rest of the users.”
She grabbed his utility belt and mashed up against his stocky frame. “I doubt you have the balls to even frisk me. Too scared you might get bit.” She kissed him again, this time forcing her tongue between his angry lips and sliding one hand around to fondle his broad butt.
Crandall gave it right back, dueling for supremacy like two characters in a low budget space opera. He broke the kiss, breathing heavily as he said, “I don’t know what your game is, Lolo, but I’m on duty.”
“My game? It’s simple. You’re seeking information on pirate activity, and I’m horny. You figure out how to scratch my itch and I’ll give it up. You do know how to conduct an interrogation, don’t you?”
She saw a smug grin as he crossed his arms. “In your case, I’m going to start with a body search. A very thorough and deep search.”
Lolo instantly shivered, placing her hands behind her back. “My room is 3854-V Deck 12, officer. I’m sorry I sassed you. Please don’t cuff me and take me in, I’ll do anything you say, just don’t hurt me.”
The buzz of the active manacles around her crossed wrists caused her cock to stiffen and pussy to flood. When he threatened to punish her disobedient ass with a hard spanking, her nipples almost punched through her skintight clothing.

He maneuvered her into the closest alcove activating the opaque security field. “You must really think I’m stupid, if you expect me to traipse off to your room without checking you for weapons first.”
“No, sir, you’re not stupid. You’re a hard, mean bastard who likes to abuse his prisoners.”
“You got a really smart mouth, don’t you?” He punctuated the sneering remark with two hard smacks to her bottom. When she yelped in surprise, he gripped her nape and firmly pressed her forehead to the wall. “I can think of a better use for your tongue, but for now, spread ‘em nice and wide, Lolo. I’ll show you how a real cop frisks his prisoner.”
She moaned as she thrust her hips out and widened her stance into a Y-shape. Her fantasy was about to come true. He started with her boots, pulling them off and tossing aside with a double thud. He used his right hand to slid up each leg to the upper thigh while the left was anchored in the small of her back. Skipping her waist—for now—he ran his fingers through her buzz cut, then around the collar, shoulders and each cuffed arm down to the fingernails.
Lolo wiggled when she felt his engorged groin against her ass. “Please, sir, I’m not hiding anything. Don’t use your probe on me, I’ll be good.”
“The thing is,” he said, placing both hands on her stomach and slowly moving them upwards, “I was in the bar because I heard scuttlebutt that a certain miner was involved in illegal activities.” He cupped her loose breasts and squeezed gently, then pinched both nipples. “You wouldn’t know anything about that, would you?”
“What? I’m clean! That filthy Atlas is behind it I guarantee! You outta bust him!”
“Settle down, Lolo, I didn’t say I believed them—or my uncle.” He increased the pressure with his thumbs and forefingers until she gasped and struggled to stand upright.
Smack! Smack! Smack! Smack!
“Not so fast!” Crandall warned, releasing her tight nipples and swiftly spanking her again.
Smack! Smack! Smack! Smack!
“I need to finish frisking you.” He slipped his hands between her thighs and prodded everywhere. “Wet and hard. I must have won the lottery.” He laughed as she arched her back and lifted her rump to his teasing fingers. “No weapons that I can feel, Lolo, but I’m taking you to your room anyway for a cavity search. Pirates can’t be trusted.”
She nearly came at his words. Completely humiliated, she did come as he escorted her, still cuffed and barefooted, through the public halls to her lodging.

When they finally reached her domicile, he asked, “I’m curious. Are you a natural intersex, or a genmod?”
Lolo gave Crandall an incredulous stare. “Are you insane?”
He shrugged. “Hey, I am conducting a serious interrogation here. The question is germane considering it’s thought to be stabilizing in deep space pilots.”
“I thought this was only role play sex?”
“Then let me ask you. If this was a date, finding out in mid-grope wouldn’t be very polite, not to mention dangerous, now wouldn’t it?”
She nodded reluctantly.
“And, not to kill the mood entirely, I’m deadly serious about tracking pirates, so if you have relevant information, I’m willing to deal fairly.”
Leaning against the bulkhead, Lolo pondered his offer then flapped her hands and jerked her head. “I can’t deactivate the palm lock with my hands behind my back.”
“Are you going to behave if I release you?”
“That depends. What will you do if I cause trouble?”
He lightly tapped her chin. “I’ll strip you naked, put you over my knee, spank you hard until you’re bright red, then spread you open on my lap and conduct a deep cavity search for contraband.”
Lolo shuddered and whispered through a suddenly dry throat. “Sounds fair to me.” She spun around and flexed her restrained wrists.
Waiting a heartbeat or two, he buzzed the release. The cuffs unlocked and retracted into the magnetic control wand.
“Thanks.”
Placing her left palm on the pad and staring straight ahead at the optical scanner, it was only a moment before the light durasteel panel slid sideways and she stepped through the opening. She sensed him following, and once the door closed, pivoted as if to say something. She threw a punch instead.
Crandall wasn’t fooled for an instant. He blocked her attempt and hooking her foot, turned and threw her over his shoulder onto the bed. She bounced once, quickly regaining her equilibrium, but before she could resume hand-to-hand combat Crandall asked, “Best two out of three falls?”
Growling, her response was to launch herself like a plasma jet at the smirking cop. He met her head-on and smoothly danced her around and off the sparse furniture until pinning her face down and ass up on the floor.
“Do you yield and accept your punishment?”
She grunted and strained but he only tightened his clasp. “Yes, I yield, you bastard.”
“That’s Sir Bastard, if you please.” He released her and backed away, and in a no-nonsense tone ordered, “Strip.”
A shivery shudder racked her entire body. Slowing standing, she toyed with front fastener at her cleavage. Biting her lip, she had the audacity to say, “Do I at least get music for my striptease?”
Crandall quirked his brow: She took that as a yes and activated the player. The thumping club mix raised her pulse even higher and she started swaying and twirling as her jumpersuit fell open down to her crotch. Shrugging out of the long sleeves, she shimmied her hips and with a deft flick of her foot, kicked the garment straight at Crandall. Catching it cleanly, he smiled and carefully folded it up, setting it aside.
Lolo was naked underneath: she hated wearing undergarments on station. Six months of confining survival gear made her want to go nude constantly. Still dancing, she let her erection lead the way.
Snuggling up to him, she traced his uniform with her fingertips, eventually cupping his tumescence. “I can’t wait to have this bad boy inside me,” she crooned. “I bet mine is bigger though. I got the best when I had it implanted—though, I love my pussy too.”
“Later, Lolo,” he said, rubbing her bottom. “But first, this has a date over my knee.”
“Do I have to?” she pouted, nibbling his neck.
“Yes, I’m not done with your interrogation.”
“Meanie.”
“I’m an amoral abusive dirtside cop remember?”
“Sorry.”
“You will be.”

She was. Dangling over his knees, ass on fire as Crandall did a beat down to the rhythm of the staccato syncopation blaring from the speakers, Lolo wanted the spanking to be harder and faster. Pain was a pilot’s constant companion and this was more cleansing than punishing. She did a lap dance, grinding her tummy and twerking her hips as his hard hand rained slaps on her tenderized flesh. When he finally stopped, she finally unclenched her glutes and slumped limply. She felt her nerves pulsing, the surface sting subsiding and the muscle soreness building. A couple of more minutes and she knew she’d climax under his spanking.
Coaxing her into a different posture, she blushed as bright as she presumed her butt must look. “What are you doing now?”
“This, my naughty pirate, is called the wheelbarrow position. Something us grubby dirtsiders use on our farms. It’s time,” the loud snap of gloves being donned. “For your cavity search.”
Lolo moaned as if she was being tortured. “No! I’ll come if you probe me. Please fuck me instead. I’m sorry I sassed you.”
Crandall didn’t respond, instead, running his slick protected fingers around her labia then wedging his thumbs between her stretched thighs and prying open her soaked entrance. “I see you enjoyed being spanked,” as he let go and grabbed Lolo’s hard cock. Giving it a quick wank, he rubbed the tip as clear fluid seeped. “Must be a trip to come both ways.”
Lolo thought he sounded wistful, but all pretense of control fled when he slowly, carefully, slipped two fingers into her pulsating vagina: all the while maintaining a steady pumping of her cock. “You’re going to make me come!”
He withdrew his wet fingers and slapped her twice on her brick red bottom. “Don’t you dare come without permission or I’ll whip you with my belt!”
Wailing in protest, she tried to control her urges, but his thick, nimble fingers pressed wide and twirled inside. She felt a spasm in her testes, and he clamped down hard on her shaft.
“Don’t… come…”
Panting now as he edged her over and over, she lost all track of time; the pending climax stretched out as if nearing light speed. Only dimly did she hear him say, ‘last orifice’ and the snap of a fresh glove. Her pussy felt empty, but not for long, as he let go of her cock and placed his thumb on her clit.
A faint, guttural, inhuman tone she didn’t recognize as emanating from her mouth, occurred as one, and then two fingers slid inexorably through her anus. She clenched her rectum, hard, and let out a strangled scream as they rotated and scraped the flexible inner walls.
Lolo stopped breathing entirely as Crandall jabbed back into her vagina and made a sandwich of his hands, the fingers rubbing against each other through the thin membrane separating her passages.
“I can’t stop….” screaming hoarsely and bucking violently as the long denied orgasm ruptured her senses.
Crandall yanked his fingers out of her ass, shed the glove and while she was still convulsing in the throes of climax, briskly milked her cock. It wasn’t long until Lolo ejaculated and shot all over the floor.

When she came to, Crandall was washing his hands and face and quietly speaking on his com. “I’ll be there in a few. Secure the scene.”
Groggily, Lolo was able to ask, “Where the hell are you going? Aren’t we having sex?”
“I’ll be back in three hours, or so.”
“What?”
“I told you. I’m on duty.”
He tossed her a salute and left.

The sound of her boots hitting the door was probably heard in outer space.

Wicked Wednesday... a place to be wickedly sexy or sexily wicked

In case you were wondering, yes, I did write the song at the beginning. Nine years and a few weeks ago to be precise, but I never had a story to match until this prompt. In addition, the title is not a typo: Holes is correct. You may interpret that in any way you’d like. This story is a lot longer than I planned, and is not flash fiction since I took three days to write and edited quite a bit. It’s closer to what I would write for a submission call or novella concept than a blog post. I’d call it a rough quasi-draft at this point.

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