An adult story about spanking, read with caution.
“All right people, this is serious. Our sales are way off and I know the economy is tough, but it’s tough for everyone and we need some positive results now!”
“How bad is it Chief?”
CEO of Palmer Inc. John Cartwright minced no words. The company that had been in his family for five generations was teetering on the brink of failure. He exhorted the management staff to think ‘outside the box’ and really focus on increasing sales.
The ideas came, slowly at first, rewards, vacations, incentives. Each idea was ruthlessly shot down. Been done, too simple, not enough. “Doesn’t anybody have any creative ideas?”
Quiet until now, Sarah Printemps, Vice-President of Marketing and Sales spoke up, “I have a plan.”
The conference room grew still; Sarah was feared, admired, shunned and desired. Six foot in stocking feet, blond hair styled in a bob, severely dressed in business elite, MBA, PhD and single. Every man and many women at Palmer had hit and bounced through her fifteen-year climb up the flow chart. No one believed anymore she’d slept her way there, no, she’d sliced and chopped her way past the corporate jungle on merit and results: until now.
“Mr. Cartwright,” she began.
He held up his hand. “Why so formal Sarah?”
She grimaced. “Because what I am about to say will shock, even horrify many of you. I may even be out of a job when you hear my proposal.”
Now the room was charged with expectation as she stood and moved to the white board. A deep breath and then, “Ladies and gentleman of Parker Inc. I take full responsibility for the company’s failures during this recession. I did not anticipate the speed and depth of the collapse and therefore failed to have proper contingency plans available. I do now, but unfortunately, due to layoffs and cutbacks, employee morale is suffering and those plans will take an extraordinary effort on everyone’s parts to succeed. The ideas you have floated are very good and during normal times would suit. As Mr. Cartwright stated, “‘These are tough times and I believe we need tough sacrifices’ and I fully concur.”
“So what do you propose?” came from several voices.
“The ultimate incentive.” Sarah swept her glittering blue and hard eyes over her co-managers and finally stopped on Mr. Cartwright’s. “ I propose me.”
Stunned silence and then pandemonium as her flat statement sunk in: confusion and babbling conversations until John pounded the table for silence.
“It’s quite simple really John.” her eyes never leaving his. “I know what you all call me behind my back and when you’re home with your spouses. I know I’ll never be CEO or even on the board; this is the highest I can rise in your company. Our sales are down 35% this year and 40% the last quarter. They are off 85% from the all-time high and that is simply unacceptable. Therefore, if the sales staff turns the company around over the next two quarters, the winner or winners will have me as their prize.”
“Now wait a minute Sarah! Are you saying you are offering yourself, as a date? Most of the sales staff is married!”
“I’m not talking about a date nor am I talking about merely the sales staff. Every employee from John on down to the janitor is eligible to claim me. Also, there are two prizes available, one to all singles and one to all those in relationships of any kind. The winners get to choose which choice fits them.”
All attention was riveted on her as she nervously licked her lips. “If company sales reach the all-time high by the end of the next two complete quarters, then I want you John, to promote me to the board and make me your designated heir apparent.”
John didn’t hesitate. “Deal.”
”In that case: prize number one. I will present myself in a space large enough to accommodate all those company employees and family members who wish to witness my punishment. I will agree to be strapped down, nude, on a flogging bench and the winner and a guest of their choosing will have two hours to do whatever they wish with my body using hands and implements. No permanent marks or scars and no penetration with sexual organs: fingers, dildos etc. are fine. Prize number two. After a complete public medical exam and intermission of one hour, the winner and chosen guest will have two hours to use me sexually in any manner desired. Again, no permanent marks or scars and this will all happen on a king size platform in front of the audience. The entire performance will be professionally taped with all profits accruing to me and only me. So, does that sound like a plan ‘outside the box’?”
There will be no more to this story. I can however fill in the background.
1. Sarah is driven and a risk taker. She makes a good salary and compensation but she realizes that John doesn’t trust her and because she is not family, she’ll never advance any higher.
2. All of the damage in the current economy and every other downturn falls disproportionally on the worker drones and not overpaid management. Sarah does not consider herself overpaid, however, she is willing to take some pain in order to save the company and all the jobs.
3. If the company fails, then she’s out of a job and she’s burned enough people to know she’ll have no sympathy elsewhere. She also believes she is responsible for slumping sales and should be held accountable.
4. By offering her body up for sacrifice, she is gambling that, for various reasons, every employee and every employee’s spouse will want to get their revenge on her. She is also gambling that in six months time if the sales goal is reached then the huge monetary bonuses will mitigate some of the negative feelings toward her and her past actions.
5. Her calculations are clear cut. Five hours of humiliation, pain and degradation in return for a seat on the board and future controlling interest in a multimillion dollar company with a salary in the tens of millions. That’s a bet she’s willing to take.
Is it too late to submit an application for employment? 🙂
Never too late, the six months hasn’t started yet. 🙂
Finally someone out here in spanko world who understands sometimes ruthlessness is part of the job for men and women. And with the right calculation and incentives, we all win 🙂
Ruthlessness gets a bad rap when it comes to being a spanko.