Can a submissive woman still be called a feminist?

Perhaps so: or maybe, can a feminist still be called a submissive woman?

Feminism:the advocacy of women’s rights on the grounds of political, social, and economic equality to men.

Let’s take spanking and all the various offshoots as belonging in the social realm. Is a woman who is spanked truly equal? Does it matter if she’s spanked by a man or by a woman? As I wrote here: Is spanking sex? I point out for many, the sexual/sensual aspects are the main focus.

If a woman believes her body, her sexual responses and her mind all belong to her and is equal to a man, then she has the right to choose any activity she enjoys. If a feminist woman likes to be spanked, then why would it be wrong? Isn’t the whole point of female empowerment to be an open and eager acceptance of blatant sexual response? When spanking, or enemas, or bondage or anything ‘kinky’ turns a woman on, she should feel the freedom to ask her partner to participate in her fantasies.

Being submissive in a relationship is not about a power struggle between unequal partners. In my essay: For couples seeking spanking I wrote that for a woman, it’s most often her who explores the concept of active submission. Not to say a man may want to spank his wife as foreplay, but a woman who feels safe with her husband will push the boundaries. If… if she is a feminist.

A feminist is a woman who knows what she wants and has the ability and passion to reach for her dreams. If those dreams include being submissive to her man and going over his knee on regular occasions, then yes, a submissive woman is still a feminist.

15 thoughts on “Can a submissive woman still be called a feminist?

  1. Sara November 10, 2009 / 8:43 pm

    Absolutely and positively!

    1. She maintains her right to choose her role in her relationship or marriage.

    2. Choosing to step into the submissive role in her primary intimate relationship does not diminish a woman’s power in general, or in any other place in her world. For me, in fact, I think it has been quite liberating. Our success with TTWD at home has resulted in me being more at peace with myself, more fulfilled, and more able to be successful in my role as a powerful, in charge and independent woman the business realm.


    • lurvspanking November 10, 2009 / 8:54 pm

      Hi Sara,

      I think too many women put down their fellow sisters for wanting to submit. They equate submission with abuse.



  2. KayLynn November 10, 2009 / 9:27 pm

    “I do not want to be the leader. I refuse to be the leader. I want to live darkly and richly in my femaleness. I want a man lying over me, always over me. His will, his pleasure, his desire, his life, his work, his sexuality the touchstone, the command, my pivot. I don’t mind working, holding my ground intellectually, artistically; but as a woman, oh, God, as a woman I want to be dominated. I don’t mind being told to stand on my own feet, not to cling, be all that I am capable of being, but I am going to be pursued, fucked, possessed by the will of a male at his bidding.”

    No one said it better than Anais Nin

    Being a submissive is a choice. It doesn’t come about from Stolkholm Syndrome exploits – it is a choice that stems from love. A woman who has the confidence not to struggle – better yet she choses a partner with whom she doesn’t need (at the core of their relationship) to struggle. She makes a discerning choice to be full within her roles and responsibilities within society. She can chose to be submissive or dominant in varying roles outside her emotional/sexual partnership. Someday I’ll go off like a rocket about my take on the 70’s, my membership to NOW, my obsession to stand up for my gender. But for now, I’m glad my daughters know the choice is personal – very personal. Thanks for the topic – where you able to reach Gloria for her thoughts?!


    • lurvspanking November 10, 2009 / 9:30 pm


      I don’t think Gloria would agree with me. 🙂

      It’s your choice KY and you have to be comfortable with being submissive. Too many women in the world never get that choice. That’s what feminism should be about, rather than personal lifestyles.



      • KayLynn November 13, 2009 / 2:44 am

        Thinking about the concept of choice in this matter, I must say that I have the choice to be submissive in part because Greg’s not left me feeling defensive. If a woman has the misfortue of being with a man who has little confidence in himself, he is not likely to allow his woman to safely explore self actualization.


        • lurvspanking November 13, 2009 / 6:56 pm

          Good point KY. The strength to submit in a large part comes from the character of the dominate partner.



  3. Ronnie November 11, 2009 / 11:54 am

    Excellent and well well put.



  4. Florida Dom November 11, 2009 / 12:58 pm

    I didn’t even know there was a debate about whether a feminist can also be a submissive. Sure, she can respect herself as a woman and value her worth as a woman and be all that she can be in the workplace and still want to come home and be a submissive.



    • lurvspanking November 11, 2009 / 7:59 pm

      Hi FLDom,

      Yes, a big and raging debate between women as to what it means to be a proper ‘feminist’. Most women would consider those that submit to be deluded, weak, abused and unworthy of the title of feminist.



  5. paul1510 November 11, 2009 / 9:21 pm

    LS, I believe the woman who makes her choice and lives the live she wants is more of a feminist then her PC sisters.
    Warm hugs,


    • lurvspanking November 11, 2009 / 10:52 pm

      I do agree Paul, which is why I wrote this. I have no truck with PC.



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