Alone for Christmas

I realize it’s been a long time since I’ve posted or even commented. There are many and sundry reasons for that, but primarily it’s because I lost interest in writing. I’ve never been a “passionate” writer, someone who burns to set quill to parchment, but merely a dabbler.

I am posting today to let you know that my wife of 35 years, died recently. She had been struggling with illness, not Covid, but end-stage kidney failure complicated by many other conditions. I woke up in the morning to find she’d passed away in her sleep. Her death was shocking but not unexpected given that we and her medical team had been discussing the likely outcome for months. We have no children and our families live far away.

I took a week off from work, but now find myself amongst the retail public scurrying for last-minute gifts, listening to Christmas carols on endless repeat over the PA while grieving with a smile under my mask. 2020 will go down as the most surreal year of my life… so far. Who knows what the future holds for me, but for now, I am slowly organizing her life and mourning for the next six months.

Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year y’all and stay safe, stay masked, stay distant.


  1. I was happy and surprised to see you pop up in my feed after all this time. And then saddened to read of your dear wife’s passing. Please accept my deepest condolences on your loss.

    You were one of the first I connected with in this blogging community. I will never forget the encouragement you provided years ago on my first blog (sayyid’s girl), when I was asking my then-husband for my very first spanking. And thank you for your guidance and advice at the beginning of my D/s journey. A lot has changed since then, as is typical in life. I wanted to take this opportunity to send my appreciation.

    Take care lurvs xo

    Liked by 1 person

  2. May l express my sincere condolences for the loss of your beloved wife. She has grown her Angel wings and is in a better place without pain. May she Rest in Peace.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Well my heart skipped a beat there when I saw your post pop up, but then again when I read your sad news. I am sending you love and thoughts from my small corner of the world. I can’t begin to imagine how you must feel but please know that I am thinking about you and am so sorry to read of your loss. You were such a dear friend to me when I started blogging and I am not sure I would have stuck it out in the early days without your support and encouragement. I know we haven’t been in contact for a while but I am here if you want a listening ear. Take care of you. Missy xxx

    Liked by 2 people

      1. I haven’t been in your situation so don’t pretend to know how you feel but I imagine that working things day by day is the best way. I am glad that you are coping ok and expect it will take much more than the short while it has been for you to really start to feel like doing things again. Always here if you want to chat. Missy x

        Liked by 1 person

  4. I was super excited to see your post pop up, and then shocked and of course sad to read about your wife’s passing. I can’t really imagine how you are feeling and I will keep you in my prayers. Many hugs to you, Marie

    Liked by 2 people

  5. The loss of a loved one is so difficult to bear. I send condolences! In these tough times it can be hard to find peace and comfort. I wish you all the best!

    Liked by 1 person

Spank you very much

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